The Beatles: The Best Band Ever (Interesting Biographies #14)

The Beatles is one of the best if not the best band ever. They set the standard for music and pop culture through their massive influence. No band has topped their fame yet, but why? Little darling, here comes the story of The Beatles.

The Beatles started in Liverpool when John Lennon in March 1957, began recruiting members for his band. Eventually, he teamed up with three other members and the group we all know as the Fab Four was created. It was Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Stuart Sutcliffe. Wait, Sutcliffe? Wasn’t it someone else? Anyway, Sutcliffe is the one who came up with the name, “The Beatles”. Originally he suggested the band be called “Beatals”  as a tribute to Buddy Holly and The Crickets. Then the band became “The Silver Beatles” and then they changed their name to “The Beatles”. Sutcliffe also has credit for creating the classic hair cuts The Beatles had that we all love. In mid-August a drummer joined the band. I bet you know who it was. That’s right, it was Pete Best! Wait, did you expect someone else? The band performed at several clubs the next two years and became popular in Liverpool. During this period Sutcliffe left the band to pursue his art studies in Germany. Boy, did that guy miss out. Eventually, The Beatles made a record deal with George Martin of EMI.

The Beatles first recorded at EMI’s Abbey Road Studios in London on June 6, 1962. However, Martin was not satisfied with Best’s drumming skills, so The Beatles replaced Best with Ringo Starr (there is the fourth member we all know). Hear that haters? Starr literally replaced the Best. In February 1963, The Beatles recorded ten songs for their debut album, “Please Please Me”. It included two songs that had been released as singles a month earlier: “Love Me Do” and “Please Please Me”, which had moderate success. Those song titles aren’t exactly proper grammar. The album released in March and met with success, remaining at the top of the charts in the UK for thirty weeks. In April the band released their third single, “From Me To You” and their fourth single called “She Loves You” reached the top of the charts with their fourth single receiving the fastest sales of a record at the time.

(The Beatles’ first album, Please Please Me.)

On February 7, 1964, the Beatles landed in New York’s John F. Kennedy Airport to begin their conquest of the United States of America after their band had gained popularity in the U.S. in December. They became even more famous after they appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show with 70 million viewers watching them. This began the phenomenon known as Beatlemania. In March and April, United Artist Records convinced the band to sign a three-motion-picture deal because of the commercial potential for their songs. During those months The Beatles shot their first film, A Hard Day’s Night, which was a mock-documentary on the band. It was a success when it premiered in July and August in the U.S. and U.K. In August the Beatles met famous musician Bob Dylan, whom introduced them to cannabis. I guess The Beatles weren’t kidding when they said they got “higher with a little help from my friends”.

In July 1965, The Beatles released their second album called, “Help!”. This album highlighted the McCartney-Lennon song writing partnership in songs like Help!, Ticket To Ride, and Yesterday. In December they released their third album, “Rubber Soul”, which included famous songs such as In My Life that showed the maturity and growth of the band. In June 1966, The Beatles released a compellation album for the U.S. called “Yesterday and Today” that caused an uproar for its gruesome cover art. The idea of the cover was supposed to be a satirical response to how the U.S. was butchering their albums. They ran into more U.S. controversy when Lennon made a comment during an interview stating The Beatles were “More popular than Jesus”. It was supposed to be more of a humorous remark by commenting on how their concerts were more packed than churches. However, in the eyes of Bible Belt America, The Beatles were spawns of Satan. Just imagine how Fox News would have reacted to that comment. In response, Bible Belt Americans burned Beatles albums and banned their music from the radio. If Lennon had said “To teenage girls we are more popular than Jesus”, maybe he would have gotten away with it.

(The cover of The Beatles’ compellation album, “Yesterday and Today. Quite gruesome isn’t it?)

In August, The Beatles released their next album, “Revolver”.  This continued to show the band’s maturity and experimentation with psychedelic rock. Then in June of 1967, they released their next album, “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”. This album is considered the greatest album of all time. In 1968, The Beatles released a successful film called Yellow Submarine. Then they released their next album, “The White Album”, while it was successful it was not critically received well for it lacked creativity. Also the cover of the album is incredibly lazy. The making of “The White Album” is marked as the beginning of the break up of The Beatles. Tensions were growing high as the band members were becoming annoyed with each other. Also Lennon began to bring his girlfriend, Yoko Ono to the recordings. We all know what that’s like when your friend is dating and they show off their date everywhere. In September they released their next album, “Abbey Road”, which quickly rose to number one. It was a miracle that album was made considering how much the band members hated each other at that point. In May of 1970, The Beatles released their final album, “Let It Be”. A month earlier the world was brought the most devastating announcement since the Kennedy Assasination. McCartney had announced his departure from The Beatles and soon all the other members left as well.

(The album cover to The Beatles’ “Abbey Road”.)

What happened to the members? John Lennon had is own successful solo career, but he was assassinated in December 1980. George Harrison also had a successful solo career, but he died in November 2001 due to lung cancer. Paul McCartney is still alive and has had a successful solo career. Finally, Ringo Starr is also still alive and had a briefly successful solo career, but now is the guy people go to in order to find out about the more popular members of The Beatles.

Why are The Beatles the most successful band in history? Why is it we don’t have a artists like The Beatles in today’s time? First of all The Beatles set the standard story for all bands. Start off your career with some love songs, have a documentary film about you, do some controversial stuff, get hooked on drugs, and break up. No band has strayed from this formula unless they just fade into obscurity like Click Five.

The closest thing we have to The Beatles today is One Direction, which is sad because it shows how much popular music has deteriorated over the years. Anyway, when The Beatles first started they were a simple boy band, whom sang love songs that filled the fantasies of teenage girls. One Direction is doing the same thing right now. Will One Direction mature like The Beatles did? Probably not. Why? The answer is the market. When The Beatles were around their was major changes taking place in America. President Lyndon B. Johnson had the War on Poverty, Civil Rights, and the protests against the Vietnam War. The Beatles became the people’s voice of these issues and that sold a lot of money. In today’s world we obviously still face major issues, but political music doesn’t sell. Sex, drugs and partying does. Yeah, there are songs that relate to issues like gay marriage out there, but they are not rebellious in nature. We need a band or artist that is not afraid to be like, “FU!” to the government. For example when the NSA scandal was uncovered did you hear any artists sing about it? When is the last time you heard a political song on the radio? I don’t know why, but artists have not been allowed to express those beliefs. I would think a producer could make more money on an artist that is outspoken than a restricted one. If you watch The Beatles in their interviews, they are smart and funny. They aren’t afraid to mock the U.S. We need more artists like that in the world. No artist really stands out on top today because music wise they don’t stick out from everybody else. There is a good chance I will not see a band like The Beatles in my lifetime and that is sad.

This has been the fourteenth installment of my Interesting Biographies series. Follow my blog for more entries in the future. Also check out my previous biographies. Leave a comment if there is someone you want me to do a biography on.

Pablo Picasso: One of the Most Inspirational Artists of the 20th Century (Interesting Biographies #13)

Pablo Picasso was one of the most influential painters of the twentieth century because of his innovations and experimentation. Behind the great paintings are a great story that reveals an interesting look inside this weird man.

Pablo Picasso was born Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Crispiniano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso on October 25, 1881, in Malaga, Spain. He was given many names to honor different saints and relatives. but that doesn’t justify how ridiculously long it is. It’s not like someone would actually call his by his full name. His first word was “piz, piz”, which his mother claims was sort for the Spanish word for pencil, “lapiz”. Or he just had to pee, but that wouldn’t sound as pleasant. Picasso’s inspiration came from his father, whom was an art painter and professor. By age 13, it is said Picasso had surpassed his father. His dad was so humiliated he vowed to never paint again. What a great lesson to teach your son, “if there is someone better than you, give up”. Picasso was also so good he got into the School of Fine Arts his father worked at, however he lacked discipline. At age 16, Picasso enrolled at the Royal Academy of San Fernando, but dropped out because he was too cool for school.

In 1900, he moved to an apartment in Paris, France with his friend Max Jacob. 1900-04 is known as Picasso’s Blue Period because he painted his paintings in red. Just kidding, obviously it was because he painted his paintings in blue. 1904-06 is known as Picasso’s Rose Period because of the cheery colors of orange and pink. 1907-09 was known as his African-American Period, not because he became black, but because his art was inspired by African-American artifacts. During this period he painted one of his famous paintings called Les Demoiselles d’Avignon.

(Picasso’s Les Demoiselles d’Avignon displays his weird taste in women.)

In 1909, Picasso along with Georges Braque (but no one cares about that guy) invented Cubism. Mixing cubism and serialism along with inspiration from the German bombing of Guernica, Picasso painted Guernica.

(Picasso’s Guernica.)

In his personal life, Picasso was a player.  He had affairs with women that were much younger and older than him through out his entire life. Hugh Hefner would be jealous of this guy. As a result he painted several pictures of women such as the Weeping Mistress and Le Reve.

(Picasso’s Le Reve is said by critics to be a picture of Picasso’s erect penis. Do you see it?)

Picasso died on April 8, 1973, in Mougins, France.

This has been the thirteenth installment of my Interesting Biography series. Follow my blog for more entries in the future. Also read my previous biographies. Leave a comment if there is someone you want me to do a biography on.

Marie Antoinette: The Most Hated Queen Ever(Interesting Biographies #12)

Marie Antoinette is known for saying, “Let them eat cake” even though she never said that. If TMZ existed in her time, she would be the scapegoat of the show. She was so unpopular people even tried to kill her. Why was she so hated and was she hated too much?

Antoinette was born a princess on November 2, 1755,  in Vienna, Austria. Her dad was Francis I, Holy Roman Emperor and her mom was Queen Maria Theresa of Hungary and Bohemia. Fun fact, she was born the same day the Great Lisbon Earthquake, when fires and tsunamis almost completely destroyed the Portugal city. If that was not an obvious symbolism of the French Revolution in the future, I don’t know what would have been. The only thing her education covered as a youth was how to behave like a princess, so she watch the Princess Diaries daily. She did learn how to play musical instruments such as the clavicord (whatever that is) and the harp.

(Antoinette at age thirteen, looking like a grandma.)

On April 19, 1769, she was married to Louis XVI, the future king of France. She was fourteen, which might seem young, but is only two years younger than the average Disney princess. On June 11, 1775, her husband became the king of France. Immediately, she was pressured into producing a heir. However, Louis did not know how to have sex. Their relationship was like Steve Urkel marrying Paris Hilton. Louis’ friends had to tell him how to have sex. If you thought your parents were putting pressure on you to have children, just imagine how it must have felt for Antoinette to have an entire country pressure her. Antoinette did not help her image out by buying lavish clothing and gambling money while the people were living in famine. She gave birth to a daughter on December 19, 1778. Antoinette was like, “Look people, I gave birth to a child just like you wanted.” The people responded, “We wanted a MALE heir, not a girl! Go have another baby!” Considering how rough of the birth was she was not looking forward to going through it again. She gave birth to a son on October 22, 1781. The only job a queen had was give birth to a son. She had no real power or influence.

(Antoinette and her husband, Louis.)

As the financial situation in France kept getting worse and no reforms were being made, the queen became involved with politics. One major reason was to save her reputation because there had been a recent scandal, which today is known as the Affair of the Diamond Necklace. The queen was accused of not paying the crown jewelers for a necklace they made for her. On top of that there was a lot of bad gossip surrounding the queen related to sexual activity.

On July 14, 1789, the French Revolution began with the destruction of the prison called Bastille. Violence started as a result of Louis’ failure to provide more rights to the people. As a result, Louis signed the Deceleration Rights of the Man and Citizen, declaring men had certain universal rights and a constitutional monarchy was born. However, that didn’t end the revolution because a bread shortage drew people mad again. On October 5, an angry mob stormed into the Palace of Versailles where the royals and powerful people were living. The mob successfully drove the royals and most of the French Assembly back to Paris, which is where they were supposed to be. In Paris the royal family were under watch 24/7 under house arrest. Antoinette was accused of several sex scandals and hit tabloids harder than Britney Spears. On the night of June 20, 1791, the royals tried to escape from Paris by disguising themselves as servants to spark a counter-revolution. However, the king was recognized and the escape failed.

(The angry mob storms into the palace, but they don’t look that angry in this picture.)

On September 21, it was officially declared the French monarchy was over and the National Assembly became the head power in France. King Louis was put on trial in December for his crimes and was found innocent. Just kidding, of course they found him guilty and had him executed on January 21, 1793. As a result Antoinette went into mourning and her health deteriorated.  The National Assembly debated on what they should do with the queen. Ideas ranged from execution to trading her for money. Eventually, she was tried on October 14, with less than a day to prepare her defense, but it’s not like it would have made a difference. She was tried for incest with her son, assassination attempts, massacres, money theft, and planning orgies. To no one’s surprise, she was found guilty and was executed on October 16.

(Antoinette’s execution.)

Marie Antoinette was the easiest target for the French media. All of the accusations of her sexual activities were false including the one that claimed she had sex with her son. I’m not saying Antoinette is not guilty of being a bad queen. While the queen did not have much power, she should have at least fought for her people. She and the rest of the royals should have been more aware of the poverty that surrounded them. To be fair, part of this is because Louis and Antoinette were trained to behave like royals, but not on how to take the responsibilities of a royal. They had no guidance to make good choices. Giving the circumstances it is easy to see why the French media was angry and insulted her constantly. What is famously known about her comes from the rumors. In today’s media we can see the same thing from TMZ reports on celebrities to Fox News on President Obama. It shows how much influence the media has and how they can create a false image of a person that becomes accepted.

This has been the twelfth installment of my Interesting Biographies series. Follow my blog for more entries in the future. Also read my previous biographies. Leave a comment if there is someone you want me to do a biography on.

John Brown: Hero or Terrorist? (Interesting Biographies #11)

Was John Brown a hero or a terrorist? He tried to end slavery, but used violence and killed people. Brown is like John Lennon if he spread his message through riots instead of music. He’s the only white guy Malcolm X approved. Brown believed violence and fear was the only way to make change happen. Was he right?

Brown was born on May 9, 1800, in Torrington, Connecticut. When he was 16, he left his family in hopes of becoming a Congregationalist Minister. However, he ran out of money and had eye inflammations, so he had to move back in with his parents in Ohio. He opened a successful tannery of his own. He married Dianthe Lusk and moved to New Richmond, Pennsylvania. This guy was handier than Bob the Builder because he built his own barn, cabin, and tannery. He had seven children, but then Brown hit a rough spot in his life. One of his children died, he became ill, his business was not doing well, and his wife died. He remarried to Marry Ann Day, whom was 16 years old. Wait, Brown was 34 when he married her. That’s weird, but at least she wasn’t his cousin (looking at you Edgar Allan Poe). In 1836, Brown and his family moved to Franklin Mills, Ohio. Once again he opened up a tannery and once again he ran into financial difficulties. A year later Elijah Parish Lovejoy was murdered. Lovejoy was an newspaper editor and abolitionist that criticized slavery. He was killed by a pro-slavery group. When Brown heard the news, he vowed he would end slavery.

In 1846, Brown and his business partner, Simon Perkins moved to Springfield, Massachusetts. It was like the head quarters of the anti-slavery movement. He became a member of the “Free Church”, where abolitionists came and gave speeches. He even spoke with Frederick Douglass. Brown and his partner ran a wool operation, but ran into financial disputes with Springfield marketers, whom were selling his wool for prices that were too cheap. Brown went to Europe to search for better business, but failed. He had to close his business and was faced with huge debt again. Poor Brown, he just can’t run a business.

In 1850, the Fugitive Slave Act was passed, which stated authorities in free states had to assist slave states in capturing escaped slaves. In response to this Brown created the League of Gileadites to protect slaves escaping from Springfield. This was his first act in his abolitionist movement.

In 1855, the Kansas-Nebraska Act was passed that said Nebraska and Kansas were given the right to vote whether they would be a free state or a slave state. Pro-slavery supporters began to invade Kansas. Brown saw the corruption that was being committed and realized Kansas was practically being forced by pro-slavery supporters into becoming a slave state. On May 21, 1856, 800 pro-slavery supporters led by Sheriff Jones cause havoc in Lawrence, destroying a hotel and two printing presses. This angered Brown and he created a militia to fight back. Brown and his men killed five pro-slavery supporters north of the Pottowatomie River in Franklin County. However, it is disputed how involved or if Brown was involved in the killings at all. At the very least his followers caused havoc and murder following Brown’s ideals.

The next few years Brown gathered money, weapons, and supporters. He allied with six wealthy abolitionists, which provided his financial backing for his plan for a certain raid. These men were known as the Secret Six, not to be confused with Doctor Octopus’ Sinister Six. He met with famous figures such as Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and got some men from Harriet Tubman. Finally, after years of planning and preparation, Brown could commence his raid on Harpers Fairy, West Virginia. His ultimate goal was to start a slave revolt.

(It’s Brown cosplaying as Radagast the Brown?)

On October 16, 1859, before the raid Brown and his men took several people hostage including Lewis Washington, the great-grandnephew of George Washington. They raided the arsenal of Harper’s Fairy to get weapons. During the raid they killed a free black man, which was ironic. The next day, the community of Harpers Ferry set up their own militia. Brown battled the townspeople and relocated to a small engine house. The companions of Brown who tried to escape the house including his son were killed. President James Buchanan sent Brevet Colonel Robert E. Lee (yes, THE Robert E. Lee) and troops to take care of Brown. The next day, Brown was given a chance to surrender, but refused. Then an epic battle that lasted three minutes ensued. Brown and seven of his men were captured, five of his men escaped, and ten of his men were killed.

(An artist’s depiction of the battle at Harpers Ferry.)

On October 27, Brown was put on trial in Virginia for the murder of four white men and one black man, conspiracy to start a slave rebellion, and treason. After a week, Brown was found guilty on all three accounts. This is not surprising when you consider he was tried in the state he attacked. That’s like putting Osama Bin Laden on trial in New York. Brown was hanged on December 2, for his crimes.

In a sense John Brown was a terrorist. He and his buddies used violence and intimidation to try to achieve their political goals and they terrorized people. Brown’s role in the deaths has been debated. His men defiantly killed people, but some historians claim Brown thought his men went too far. People defend Brown by saying he was fighting fire with fire. The pro-slavery guys attacked first and Brown was just defending abolitionists. Also just the fact that he was trying to end slavery justifies his actions and even those deaths. That makes him a hero. There is a very thin line between terrorist and hero in this case. It’s all about perspective. No one was there when Brown made his decisions, so it’s tough to decide. However, I will say that he did do more good than harm when you look at what happened after his death. The Raid on Harpers Fairy is on of the events that set of the Civil War and the Civil War ended up freeing the slaves. Then again I could say Adolph Hitler was a major cause of World War II and World War II was the reason the U.S. got out of a financial crisis and it led to the world we have today. Every historical figure has made a contribution that was better or worse for the world.

This has been the eleventh installment of my Interesting Biographies series. Follow my blog for more entries in the future. Also read my previous biographies. Leave a comment if there is someone you want me to do a biography on.

Harriet Tubman: The Black Moses (Interesting Biographies #10)

She deserved the name, “Moses”. Harriet Tubman is not just a famous icon in Black history, but women history as well. She is one of the most import women in history, displaying bravery and determination. In honor of Black History month I decided to tell her story.

Tubaman was born as Araminta Harriet Ross in Dorchester County, Maryland. She was born into slavery as her parents were slaves. No exact record of her birth date exists, but historians put her birth year at 1820. Tubman showed signs early on as a rebel. When she was a teen she came across a slave, whom was being chased by his master. The master told Tubman to hold down the slave, but she refused. The master tried to knock out the runaway slave with a two pound weight, but nailed Tubman in the head instead. She never received treatment for her injury. She would work in the field as blood spilled down her face and have epileptic seizures. She began to have visions of God bringing messages to her. The same images Joan of Arc must have had.

In 1844, she married a black freed man named John Tubman. However, Tubman was still a slave, so any child she bore was bond to slavery. In 1849, Tubman became ill and as a result, the value she could be sold for decreased. Her master was furious. Tubman prayed to God for her master to be killed. The good news is her prayer actually came true and her master died a week later. The bad news is this made things worse for Tubman because now it was more likely she would be sold and separated from her family.

In 1849, Tubman escaped from slavery. She followed the North Star on foot and traveled 90 miles (145 kilometers) in five days and three weeks to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. In December 1850, Tubman was informed her children were being sold in Cambridge. She went there and with the help of her friends she smuggled her children out. In the following spring she went back to Maryland to save other family members and slaves. In the fall she went back to get her husband, but he had married another woman, so she left him and saved other slaves instead.

Over the course of eleven years Tubman rescued around 300 slaves from Maryland in 19 trips. She nor the slaves she was freeing were ever caught. Tubman was able to avoid capture through the Underground Railroad. The Underground Railroad was network of secret routes and safe houses that assisted escaped slaves to the North. In April of 1858, she met abolitionist, John Brown. It was the civil rights equivalent of Superman teaming up with Wonder Woman. Together, they planned an attack that would inspire slaves to revolt. On October 16, 1859, after a year of planning, Brown along with other abolitionists and slaves attacked Harper’s Ferry in Virginia. Tubman was not present during the attack. Which was good for her because the raid failed. Brown was captured and hanged.

In 1861, the Civil War broke out. She joined the Northern army and operated in Port Royal, South Carolina. She became the first woman to lead an armed assault in the war. On June 2, 1863, Tubman along with Colonel James Montgomery and his men assaulted a series of Confederate plantations along the Combahee River. The raid was a success. More than 700 slaves were freed. Tubman served as an active scout and nurse until the war ended in 1865 with the Confederates surrender. After the war she moved to Auburn, New York, where she would live the rest of her life.

(Tubman in her Civil War uniform.)

In the last years of her life Tubman spent it dedicated to the improvement of other people’s live. She was a major activist for women’s rights and setting up homes for poor African Americans. She died in 1913 of pneumonia at the age of 96.

This has been the tenth edition of my Interesting Biographies series. Follow my blog for more installments in the future. Also read my previous biographies. Leave a comment if there is someone you want me to do a biography on.

Miyamoto Musashi: The Greatest Samurai Ever (Interesting Biographies #8)

This man never lost a battle in his life. If you are a fan of Shonen Jump, then you have probably read series such as Dragon Ball Z, Naruto, One Piece, and Rurouni Kenshin. Those series are full of heroes that know martial arts and have powers. Miyamoto Mushashi was the real life Shonen Jump hero that comes from history. His story has become a legend in Japan. He is the Japanese version of Hercules or Robin Hood.

Musashi’s story begins where ever he was born in 1584. It is unknown exactly where he was born. The two most likely places are Harima Province and Banshu. His father, Shinmen Munisai, was a master of material arts, the sword, and the jutte. His dad kicked ass and his ass when he trained him in swordsmanship and the jutte. Munisai stopped Musashi’s training when Musashi was seven because it’s hard to train someone when you’re dead. After his father died, Musashi honed his skills in on his own.

At the age of thirteen in 1596, Musashi won his first duel. He had won against Arima Kihei. Kihei was a traveler, whom would challenge people to duels in the towns he visited in order to improve his skills. When Kihei visited Musashi’s town, Musashi challenged Kihei and Kihei accepted. Musashi fought Kihei using a six-foot quarter staff. Kihei arrogantly thought he would take down Musashi, but he was dead (emphasis on dead) wrong. Musashi knocked Kihei to the ground and beat him to death with the staff in a finisher that would be put in a Mortal Kombat game. It’s more disturbing that he was only thirteen at the time and already he was more messed up than Alex from A Clockwork Orange.

In 1599, Musashi left his village and became a traveler. His goal was to fight in duels to become a master samurai. In 1600, he fought in the war between the Toyotomi and Tokugawa clans. Musashi fought on the Toyomati side. With such an amazing samurai on their side it is no wonder the Toyomati side….lost the war. Then Musashi fled after it was over.

At the age of 20/21, Musashi arrived in Kyoto and challenged the Yoshioka School in many duels to prove he was the best. He first dueled against the head of the school, Yoshioka Seijuro on March 8, 1604. Musashi arrived to the duel late because his strategy was to psychology weaken his opponent. By arriving late he greatly irritated Seijuro and made Seijuro’s fighting style less tactical, making him more open. Granted showing up late to a duel a duel of honor is not exactly the honorable way to behave. After Seijuro’s death, his brother, Denshichiro, challenged Musashi. Musashi arrived late once again and was easily able to defeat Denshichiro. Then he was challenged by the next head of the school, Matashiro, whom was twelve years old. The clan knew having a twelve year old fight Musashi would make the school lose all credibility, so they sent a bunch of soldiers to fight with him. Musashi defeated Matashiro and the soldiers as if he was Arnold Schwarzenegger from Commando. This battle is significant because it was the first time Musashi fought wielding two swords at once, a style he would be best known for.

(Musashi wielding two bokken just like he would with his swords.)

After taking out the main branches of the Yoshioka School, Musashi fought in 60 or more duels. His arguably most famous duel took place on April 13, 1612. He dueled Sasaki Kojiro, a famous swordsman. What Musashi did in this duel is controversial. He arrived late, which people find in this duel inappropriate because it was too disrespectful. It’s like if Micheal Jordan showed up hours late for an NBA slam dunk contest. Also it’s not like he was Kakashi from Naruto. Legend says Musashi disarmed and beat Kojiro to death with a wooden staff he made from an oar. It’s a good thing Musashi didn’t use wooden weapons often. With this record he would have become a murdering psychopath like Jason Voorhees.

In 1645, the Toyotomi and Tokugawa clans fought in another war. Once again he fought on the Toyotomi side. Over the next several years Musashi worked for different lords and daimyos. In 1643, Musashi retired from fighting to live in a cave named Reigando and there he wrote his most famous work, “The Book of Five Rings”. In the book, he talks about how in order to become a master fighter, one must practice extensively everyday and focus their mind. Musashi died on June 13, 1645.

This has been the eighth installment of my Interesting Biographies series. Follow my blog for more biographies in the future. Also check out some of my previous entries. Leave a comment if there is a person you want me to do a biography on.

Joseph McCarthy: The Boy Who Cried Communist(Interesting Biographies #6)

During the last few years the US has heard wild accusations coming from both parties. Lies are associated with politicians. If their was a politician that people would say was the human representation of those lies it would be Joseph McCarthy. During the Cold War this man sent the government on a wild goose chase or communist chase in this case. Was he completely wrong? If we examine McCarthy’s actions we can learn a very important lesson.

McCarthy was born on November 14, 1908, in Grand Chute, Wisconsin. He joined the US Marine Corps and fought in World War II. After the war he won the 1946 senate election for Wisconsin as a Republican. McCarthy did not stand out during his first term, but when he did it was not for the better. He was seen as a corporate sell out. There was an incident where McCarthy claimed the US military illegally tortured German soldiers to have them confess a massacre. However, he had no proof. This led him to being voted as “the worst US senator currently in office”. It’s ironic because you would think McCarthy would have learned a lesson from this; don’t make accusations you can’t back up. However, he learned nothing.

On February 9, 1950, McCarthy made the infamous announcement during a speech in Wheeling, West Virginia. There people claimed he announced, “The State Department is infested with communists. I have here in my hand a list of 205—a list of names that were made known to the Secretary of State as being members of the Communist Party and who nevertheless are still working and shaping policy in the State Department.” This was McCarthy’s political equivalent to Miley Cyrus’s performance at the 2013 VMAs. At the time Americans, especially the government was afraid of Communists. McCarthy decided to become the driver of the Communist hate band wagon. Keep in mind I said “people claimed he announced”. There is no official audio of the speech. Some people claim the list was said to have both Communists and Communist Sympathizers. Also the number he said is debated.

To McCarthy’s surprise the media actually wanted him to provide evidence for his claims. McCarthy wasn’t exactly what one would call a “good liar” because not only did he refuse to show his sources, but he also kept changing up the number of Communists that he was accusing. Some people say in his defense that the change in numbers was due to the State Department’s personnel transferring in and out. There was a series of hearings called the Tydings Committee Hearings where Democrats challenged McCarthy to back up his claims. McCarthy failed to support his case in those hearings completely, but that did not stop him from spreading the fear of Communism. His main argument was that the government was failing to see the Communists that had infiltrated it. Overtime he gained fame, popularity, and a following from people. However, he still had his opponents. They created the phrase, “McCarthyism”. “McCartyism” is making accusations of disloyalty without having any evidence to back it up. So basically it’s the political term for “bullshit”.

(The political cartoon that coined the phrase, “McCarthyism”.)

Despite the controversy surrounding him, McCarthy was reelected for the Wisconsin senate seat in 1952. By then his influence was huge. Even President Eisenhower was afraid to publically criticize him. McCarthy had become the bully on the playground every kid was afraid of. At this point the Communist investigation had become a witch hunt, which is actually an appropriate comparison to make because Arthur Miller’s famous play; “The Crucible”, was based on the insanity of McCarthyism.

(Political cartoon that illustrates McCarthy’s big influence on the government.)

In 1953, he became the head of the Senate Committee on Government Operations. The committee investigated people and organizations suspected of Communism. They attacked news shows, movies, and libraries. If you had a film on Communism, you were a Communist. If you wanted to educate yourself on Communism, you were a Communist. If you knew about Communism, you were a Communist. If you wore red, you were a Communist. If your name began with the letter “C”, you were a Communist. Point being that no one was safe from the committee.

However, the committee doomed themselves when they began to investigate the US Army. This led to the infamous televised Army-McCarthy hearings in 1954, which lasted for thirty-six days. The most famous moment of trials and the day that ended McCarthy’s career was on June 9th, the 30th day of the trials. McCarthy was accusing a man named Fred Fisher of Communist ties. At that moment the army’s chief legal representative, Joseph Nye Welch was being questioned. Angry at McCarthy’s accusation toward Fisher, Welch said, “Until this moment, Senator, I think I never really gauged your cruelty or your recklessness …Let us not assassinate this lad further, Senator. You’ve done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?” The audience applauded after he said that. If this were a rap battle, McCarthy would have been served.

http://qph.is.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-2fbf23b501dcde3db4dcd3b80fa77db8?convert_to_webp=true
(Political cartoon of McCarthy after the hearings.)

On December 2, 1954, after the disastrous hearings, the Senate voted to censure McCarthy for false accusations and abusing his power. When the Senate censures someone, all they are really doing is saying that the guy is “disapproved”. The person isn’t punished, just given a bad name.

In his final years McCarthy was ostracized from society. He sank into a deep depression and became an alcoholic. On May 2, 1957, McCarthy died of hepatitis caused by his alcoholism.

Was McCarthy a total fraud? While the majority of people agree he was there are some who say we should reevaluate him. Recently the Venona Files were released. These files have names of Communists in the government during McCarthy’s time. 159 of those names were used or referenced by McCarthy, so he actually might have had legit info. However, the files have not been approved by the history committee yet. Critics have bashed its legitimacy. Looking at the 159 names alone, it is believed a majority of them were not actual threats. Could the Democrats have painted a false picture of McCarthy? Maybe, but then again McCarthy was not perfect. He still went after the wrong guys. He crossed the line.

What can we learn from McCarthy? Besides the obvious don’t lie. Today when I think of American politicians and the accusations they have made I realize that they need to be called out. The media needs to do a better job of researching claims and letting the truth out there. For example there is a great website called politifact.com. It’s a nonpartisan website that researches politicians claims and states whether they are false or not. The media needs to be like this. It is infuriating how politicians will get away with bullshit claims and people will buy it. McCarthy teaches us that we can’t take someone’s word when it comes to politics, you have to research it on your own.

This has been the sixth installment of my Interesting Biographies series. Follow my blog for more post like this in the future. Also check out my previous biographies. Leave a comment if there is someone you want me to do a biography on.

Andrew Jackson: The Original Jackass (Interesting Biographies #4)

Andrew Jackson is one of the most celebrated and controversial presidents in the history of the United States. He was a strong leader, but might have been too stubborn. Did he do more harm then good?  We’ll have to look at his story in order to find out.

Jackson was born on March 15, 1767, in the border between North and South Carolina. At age thirteen, Jackson joined the colonies to fight the British in the Revolutionary War. There is a famous story where Jackson was captured by the British. An officer ordered Jackson to clean his shoes, but Jackson refused. The angry officer slashed Jackson with his sword, scarring Jackson’s face and left hand. This incident along with the loss of his family during the war caused Jackson to hate the British forever. Kind of like Batman (a little bit).

(A young Jackson stands up to the British officer.)

Jackson had his chance to get revenge when he fought in the War of 1812. He was the major general of the Tennessee militia. Jackson successfully defeated the “Red Stick” Creek Indians in 1814 at the Battle of Horseshoe Bend. Jackson had all the Indians killed except for the chief Red Eagle. Red Eagle was a mixed-race man of “white and red”. It might appear that Jackson was being racist, but there is another more logical explanation. He kept Red Eagle alive because he thought “Red Eagle” was a cool name. Jackson received the nick name “Old Hickory” after the tree. A hickory tree is known for its tough wood and big nuts. No, “Old Hickory” was NOT Jackson’s porn name. Get your mind out of the gutter. Jackson got the nickname “Old Hickory” after he demonstrated his tough personality when he commanded his troops to victory at the Battle of New Orleans. The War of 1812 made Jackson a hero like Superman. However, Jackson had also shown his darker side in New Orleans.

(Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans)

Jackson declared martial law in the city of New Orleans. He arrested people which included a Louisiana legislator and a U.S. District Court Judge that question his morality. They criticized Jackson for holding a British militia, even tough at that point the British had surrendered and the war was over. Jackson ended up executing the militia. Hewas about as friendly as the general from James Cameron’s, Avatar.

Jackson showed his tough attitude again in the First Seminole War. Jackson fought the Creek Indians and the Seminoles by seizing Florida. He kicked out the Spanish governor, executed two British officers that had assisted the Indians, and burned down villages. He may have gone too far. Despite the fact he almost caused an international incident, Jackson was still seen as a hero.

Jackson was a presidential candidate in the election of 1824, but lost. He ran again in 1828 and won. If you have made the joke that the reason the symbol of the Democratic party is a donkey because Democrats are a bunch of jackasses then you were right. Jackson’s opponents labeled him as a jackass. Jackson took pride in the name and made it his symbol. Jackson was also reelected in 1832. Jackson did a lot during his eight years as president.

Jackson had a philosophy referred to now as Jacksonian democracy. Philosophical ideals included everyone had the right to vote (and by “everyone” I mean all WHITE men). Jackson believed in Manifest Destiny; the idea that Americans would control the West. He developed the controversial Spoils System. A system where he appointed his supporters in important positions. Nothing cries “democracy” more than a man that gives all the power to his friends, so he can get what he wants and block out his opponents.

It’s a good thing for Wall Street bankers that Jackson isn’t alive today because he would have them executed. Jackson hated the national bank and destroyed it because of its wealth and influence over politicians. However, doing this did lead to economic troubles in the Panic of 1837. Fortunately, for Jackson, he was not the president anymore when it hit, so it was not his problem.

(Jackson fights of the national bank(depicted as a serpent).)

The Nullification Crisis is another controversy in the Jackson presidency. South Carolina blamed the high tariffs for their struggles. The Tariff Act of 1828 was put in place, so products would be manufactured in America rather than be imported from Europe. However, the high tariffs made it seem the Northern businesses were profiting off the misery of southern farmers. Jackson passed the Tariff Act of 1832 to reduce the tariffs, but South Carolina was still not satisfied. So, the state decided it did not want to follow the rules of the tariff acts. Two bills were passed to settle this dispute. One of them was a compromise that satisfied South Carolina. However, the one that might have been more effective was the Force Bill, which stated Jackson can use the military to attack South Carolina. So either South Carolina could agree or burn down in flames.

The most infamous moment of the Jackson presidency was the Trail of Tears. Native Americans were constantly in the way of the whites. It must have been really annoying for the whites to takeover the natives’ land when they kept fighting back. There was two solutions. They could move the natives or they could exterminate them all. Jackson decided to move the natives and make their journey so hellish, the natives would wish the whites had just chosen to exterminate them. Jackson was good at compromising. In 1831, Jackson began to move several Native American tribes from the Deep South. Those that moved westward faced a perilous journey of bad weather and starvation. More than 45,000 Native Americans were relocated and over 4,000 were killed.

Jackson was clearly a very harsh man, but he was not as hated as you might think. He was shot at only once. On January 20, 1835, Richard Lawerence fired two shots at Jackson, but his gun misfired both times. People believed Jackson was so bad ass he scared the bullets back into the pistol. The man blamed Jackson for the loss of his job and he even referred to himself as Richard III. He was deemed insane and suicidal, because you have to be both of those things if you try to go against Jackson.

(An artist’s depiction of the attempted assassination.)

After his presidency, Jackson retired and relaxed until his death on June 8, 1845. It should be noted that on the last day of his presidency, Jackson last statement was not an apology for some of the mistakes he had made. He said,  his only regret was that he “had been unable to shoot Henry Clay or to hang John C. Calhoun.”

What can we learn from Jackson? Jackson did have good intentions by wanting to make the American democracy accessible to everyone (and by “everyone” I mean white men). He knew politicians were corrupt by money and power. However, he never realized that the power of the presidency had gotten to his head. It was his way or the highway(or the way to the West if we are referring to the Trail of Tears). His arrogance and stubbornness did do some harm the country economically and people. However, at the same time he was a representation of the American hero. Sort of like a democratic Ronald Reagan.

This has been the fourth installment of the Interesting Biographies series. Follow my blog for more posts like this in the future. Also look at some of my previous biographies. Leave a comment if there is someone you want me to do a humorous biography on.

Edgar Allan Poe: America’s Most Intriguing and Messed Up Writer (Interesting Biographies #3)

If you look back on any historical writer you will discover that pretty much all of their lives were filled with depression. It is not easy being a writer (sorry for discouraging any of you who want to become writers). Out of all the famous American authors, Edgar Allan Poe’s life sucked the most. Was this guy ever happy? His works are known for their dark tone and disturbing stories. Based on the life Poe lived, it is no wonder why his imagination was so messed up.

Poe was born on January 19, 1809, in Boston, Massachusetts. The next year not only did his father abandon his family, but his mother died from TB (she would not be the first woman in Poe’s life to do so). He was adopted by John Allan and his wife. Poe and John got along as well as modern Democrats and Republicans, which seriously begs the question why John would adopt a boy if he was just going to hate on him. This bad relationship along with gambling debts caused Poe to drop out of the University of Virginia and join the army as a private on May 27, 1827. There he released his first book of poems; “Tamerlane and Other Poems (That No One Cared About)”. Poe discharged from the army in 1829 and moved to Baltimore to live with his aunt, his brother, his grandmother, and his first cousin, Virginia Eliza Clemm. He published his second book of poems; “Al Aaraaf, Tamerlane and Minor Poems (That No One Also Cared About)”. Two years later his third book of poems was published. Poe used all his creativity as a writer to give the book the creative name; “Poems”. Just brilliant. No one cared about these poems either.

Over the next few years Poe struggled trying to make a living off of solely being a writer. He was an editor of several news papers and magazines. His writing talents did get him very minor positive recognition, but at the same time there were those who criticized his work. Poe acted maturely and became a harsh critic, who criticized the work of other writers that were more successful than him. Some might say he was “butt hurt”. During this time he married his first cousin, Virginia. If this is already a little disturbing to you then it will disturb you further to know that Virginia was 13 years old and Poe was 26 years old. Back then Virginia had to be 21 in order to marry, but Poe falsified her age, which makes this scenario even creepier.

A lot of the works Poe is known for today were written during this time. “The Murders in the Rue Morgue”, the world’s first detective story.  This story has a twist ending that even M. Night Shyamalan would find ridiculous. “The Black Cat”, a story about a man who kills his cat, which comes back to haunt him. In the end the man kills his wife and tries to hide the body. The cat makes him go mad, thus he confesses his murder. Poe practically took this story’s ending and used it for his other story, “The Tell-Tale Heart”. There was “The Cask of Amontillado”, a story about a man who murders some one he is pissed off at for insulting him. Finally there is “The Fall of the House of Usher”. In this poem the character Usher creepily mirrors Poe. Both are people who have been driven mad by darkness and the loss of an important woman in their life. Also it is heavily implied that Usher has an incestual relationship with his sister.

It’s not a surprise that these works did not get Poe recognized in his time. All his works were just messed up. It’s like Tim Burton’s, Batman Returns. Point being that people usually prefer to read stories that are not just disturbing.

On January 29, 1845, Poe published his most famous poem, “The Raven”. He finally became recognized, but not financially successful. He only made nine dollars off “The Raven”. All that fame and he received only a little more money than what Walmart employees get paid per hour.

(An artist’s depiction of “The Raven”)

Poe had bad luck with women the next few years. Earlier I mentioned his mother died when he was young and that she would not be the only woman Poe would lose to TB. Virginia died from TB, leaving Poe devastated. He tried to date another girl, but she left him due to his unpleasant behavior.

The most intriguing thing about Poe is his death. A cold and dreary Poe was found on the street on October 7, 1849. Someone took him to a hospital, but Poe died two days later. No one knows how Poe died or how he was put in that critical condition. Even stranger, Poe was found in clothes that were not his own. Was it an illness that killed Poe? Or was he killed by someone? Suspects include Henry Thoreau, Nathaniel Hawthorne, and Mark Twain. Like the answer to the question of how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop; the world may never know.

This has been the third installment of Interesting Biographies. Follow my blog for more posts like this in the future. Leave a comment if there is a person you want me to do a humorous biography on.

Caligula: The Most Fucked Up Roman Emperor Ever! (Interesting Biographies #2)

To put it bluntly, Caligula was one bad mother fucker. Actually sister fucker would be the more appropriate term. He is known for his incestual relationship with his sister, Dursilla and wanting to appoint his horse as a consul. He did everything a person gone mad with power would do. Some historians state that he wasn’t crazy, but screwing around with the senators. Caligula’s reign is one of the most fascinating stories in all of human history.

Caligula was born August 31, 12 AD. His actual ridiculously long name was Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Caligula was his nick name that stuck with him. Caligula means “little boots”. He got the nickname when he was three years old when he wore a miniature soldiers uniform. The soldiers thought he looked cute and gave him the name Caligula. Caligula soon hated this name. It is tough to come across as a bad ass Emperor when your name reminds people of the cute little monkey companion from “Dora the Explorer”.

Caligula’s father, Germanicus was a Roman senator. He was killed, most likely by poisoning set up by Tiberius, the current emperor at the time. Tiberius was axing off Caligula’s family one by one. However, he decided to spare Caligula, possibly because he liked him. Granted you think Tiberius should have known it is not the best idea to kill someone’s family and leave that person alive, giving them time to plot their revenge. Seriously, this is like Zeus overthrowing Cronus, Tiberius should have seen his death coming.

(Bust of Tiberius)

On March 16, 37 AD, Tiberius died either from natural death or suffocation by Caligula or an ally of Caligula named Marco. Caligula officially became emperor on March 28, welcomed by the people of Rome. They had hated Tiberius. Everything went well in the first seven months of Caligula’s reign until he fell ill. His health recover from it, but his mind did not. He went insane like Charlie Sheen. He had the remaining family members of Tiberius executed,  except he kept his uncle, Claudius alive. Ironically, Claudius would become the next emperor. It’s like emperors kill off everybody, except for the guy that will actually take their place.

Anyway, in 39 AD, Rome was in a bit of a financial crisis because of Caligula’s lavish life style and parties. He gained the money back by raising taxes, raising prices, murder, and theft. Imagine if the bankers of Wall Street broke into your house and stole your stuff to get the money they lost back. It should be noted that Caligula was actually popular among the people despite his actions and his main haters were senators.

Caligula wanted to show off is awesomeness through construction. A lot of his projects did benefit Rome, but some were just built for his ego. Caligula built a floating bridge, which was basically platforms on boats that stretched two miles from Baiae to the port of Puteoli. He then crossed the bridge wearing the breastplate of Alexander the Great, while riding on his horse, Incitatus. This stunt was a big F.U. to Tiberius’ soothsayer who said Caligula had, “no more chance of becoming emperor than of riding a horse across the Bay of Baiae”. Also I suspect that the bridge was also Caligula’s representation of him bragging that he had a big cock. Caligula also built two of the biggest ships in ancient times. One ship was dedicated to Diana. The other ship was a palace at see or to put in simple terms, a party boat.

(Caligula’s Party Boat)

The craziest thing Caligula did was when he led an army during his campaign to take Britain. However, he aborted the campaign and instead had his soldiers pick up sea shells. This gave birth to the phrase, “Sally collects sea shells by the sea shore”.

In 40 AD, Caligula declared himself as a god. He wanted to have temples dedicated to him that people would use to worship him. Caligula wanted to have a giant statue of him built in Jerusalem.

Later that year Caligula announced he would be moving to Alexandria, Egypt to be worshipped as a god there. This plan would take power away from the Senate, the Praetorian Guard, and Rome. The Senate would not allow this, so they conspired to kill Caligula. On January 24, 41 AD, Caligula was assassinated by being stabbed to death by members of the Senate and the Praetorian Guard.

This has been the second installment of Interesting Biographies. Please follow my blog for more posts like this in the future. Also check out the previous blog I did on William Bradford. Leave a comment if you have someone you want me to do a humorous biography on.